Don’t bring any of these things to that Halloween party potluck you’re going to tonight.
Like, nope to this shrimp and sherry aspic. Yes to the spritzer.
I don’t even know.
Not everything is better with bacon.
One more after the jump.
The coconut cake recipe card seems to be pretty normal even if the filling looks like glue, but the ice cream roll one? Has a hatchet on it. Just a serving suggestion, I guess.
And then we have the cherry ham balls recipe card. The recipe is more meatcakeball than cake, but we like to stay on trend here as much as we can and it is obvious the cakeball trend is dying and meatcakeballs are going to be huge.
Check out those weenies! Clearly a stimulating treat at any cocktail party. Here are some updated versions of the classic 1950s cocktail weiner:
Cocktail Weiners, via The Cooking Mom
Ultimate Bacon-Wrapped Cocktail Weiners, via AllRecipes.com
Beef Cocktail Franks Enrobed in Masa Harina, via Food.com
Sweet and Sour Cocktail Franks, via CDKitchen
Nippy Franks in Burboun Sauce, via Southern Food
Not long ago, it appears, our forebears thought something edible could be made by suspending vegetables in globs of goo like human slaves in a Matrix. They called it “salad.” Gross. It’s less like food and more like something a subterranean alien would eat in an H.P. Lovecraft story.
And while it seems almost inhuman to attempt this today, I actually found some modern-day recipes that make Jell-o salad sound almost tempting. Possible? See for yourself:
Emeril Lagasse’s Gaspacho Aspic, courtesy The Food Network
Creamy Cucumber Gelatin Salad, courtesy AllRecipes.com
Grandma’s Sunshine Salad Recipe, courtesy SimplyRecipes.com
Tomato Aspic Ring, courtesy SlashFood
Eggs in Aspic, courtesy Saveur
Russian-style Aspic, courtesy Genius Cook
If you attempt any of these molded delights, please let us know in the comments and be sure to post pictures on our Facebook Page.
Nothing conjures stomach-churning images of gnarly 1950s food like the word casserole. Church cookbooks, Ladies Home Journal magazines, and printed food packages were chock-full of these time-saving one-dish recipes for housewives — all which seemed to have no basis in taste or nutrition (or at least not using the phrase “boiled ham”). They had gross names like Left-Over Beef Casserole, Creamy Spam Asparagus Casserole, and Boiled Ham Roll-Up.
But hold the phone! Just because 1950s housewives and magazine editors ruined one-dish cooking for a while doesn’t mean those of us living in the future can’t enjoy a creamy, delicious baked concoction every once in a while for dinner, right? Especially when you’re hoarding vintage Pyrex like you do. (That’s right, you know who you are.)
Here are some links to 6 updated casserole recipes. Try one this weekend!
Spinach-Quiche Casserole, via The Hairpin
Swiss Chard and Sweet Potato Gratin, via Smitten Kitchen
Chickpea Casserole with Lemon, Herbs and Shallots, via The Kitchn
Classic Green Bean Casserole with Alton Brown, via Food Network on YouTube
5-Spice Pork and Crisp Rice Casserole, via The Food in My Beard
Cheesy Onion Casserole, via Forkable